Short Play: Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa

Sutradhar: Bahut dinon pahle ki baat hai. Kisi door desh main ek raja aur ek rani rahte the. Unki ek sundar si rajkumari thi.

Mujhe pata that aapko ye kahani already maloom hai isliye aaj jo hum presnt kar rahe hain wo kahani hamari aur aapki zindagi ke bare main hai. Aur jis zindagi ki hum baat kar rahe hain wo ekta kapoor ke serials ki kalpnik udan nahin par reality ke kareeb hai.

 

Aaiye to sabse pahle aap hamare star pariwar se miliye…..

 

Ye hain Mr Taneja, ek successful software engineer. Company inko achhi salary deti hai or uske badle ye ji jaan se company ki sewa karte hain….

 

Mr Taneja: Oh ya….. ya. I don’t like the ambience of Taj. They are just too old fashioned and out dated. Let us party in Leela this time. They have an amazing collection of Pastas and salads.

 

Sutradhar: Aur ye hain Mrs Taneja, Aapne to suna hi hoga ki har successful aadmi ke peeche ek aurat hoti hai aur ye to hamesha unke peeche hi padi rahti hain.

 

Mrs Taneja: Ye D block wali ladki bhi apne aap ko jaane kya samajhti hai. Park main pata nahin kaise kaise kapde pahan ke aa jati hai.

 

Sutradhar: Aur ab bari hamari generation next ki. Mr aur Mrs Taneja ki iklauti beti Mona. Movie dekhna inka dharm hai aur Shahrukh inke bhagwan.

 

Mona: Are Yar D2 dekhi kya… Kya lagta hai Hrithik us main. John to uske samne kuchh bhi nahin tha. Kaash Shahrukh bhi hota is movie main.

 

Sutradhar: Aur ab bari ghar ke badhe boodhon ki…. Mr Taneja ki maan Sheela Devi. Pilot Baba se le kar Baba Ramdev tak ka lamba safar tay kiya hai inhone. Pahle to darshan ke liye poore desh ka bhraman karti thin par ab to TV se hi kaam chal jaata hai.

 

Sheela Devi: Kal subah dekha tha kapal bharti ke baare main… Baba Ramdev ke shabdon main to jadoo hai. Aise samjhate hain ki patthar bhi pranayam karne lage.

 

Sutradhar: Are bhai new year ka time hai.  Party sharty to honi hi chahiye. To Mantri Paradise wale kaise peeche rahenge. Hum sabhi logon ne bhi mil kar celebrate karne ka plan banaya hai. Jara dekhte hain ki hamare star pariwar ke kya plans hain….

 

(All the family members sitting in the living room)

 

Mr Taneja: Mona beti kya hone wala hai is bar new year party main. Tum to yahan sabko jaanti ho. Tumhein to maloom hoga.

 

Mona: Are mujhe aisi parties main intrest nahin hai. Party to pub ya disco main hoti hain. Yahan to sab boodhe log mil kar yahi discuss karte rahte hain ki association ke elections main kaun participate kar sakta hai aur kaun nahin. Itna to log MP aur MLA ke election ke bare main bhi nahin sochte. Anyway us din sharukh khan ki movie bhi aa rahi hai TV main. Mera to jaane ka koi plan nahin hai.

 

Mrs Taneja: Tum log to ghar ko hotel ki tarah samajhti ho. Bas khane aur sone ke liye hi aate ho. Main to jaroor jaoongi is party main. Pichhle saal Mrs Iyengar ne kya shan dikhai thi apni Kanjiwaram Silk ki saadi ko lekar. Is bar unko bhi pata lage ki banarsi sadiyon ke aage koi bhi nahin tik sakta.

 

Sheela Devi: Is bar to mujhe bhi jana hi padega. Jabse America main rah kar aayee hoon socialize karne ka mauka hi nahin mila. Wahan to bas pizza burger main hi samay gujar diya. Last year ki party main who L block wali ne itne kisse sunaye the Aemrica ke bare main. Ab main bhi batati hoon unko ki America main Niagra Falls ke alawa bhi aur jagah hain.

 

Mr Taneja: Main bhi soch raha hoon ki is bar rahne hi doon. Bekar ki natak nautanki hoti hai har saal. Sab log aa kar apne apne boss ki burai karte hain aur wo J Block wala Kothari hai na, wo to hamesha hi apni nayee Honda Varna ki baat karta rahta hai. Are bhai hamare paas Indica hai to kya hum backward class ho gaye.

 

 

 

 

 

Sutradhar: To hamare star pariwar harek pariwar ki tarah aapas main bata hua hai. Kuchh log to jana chahte hain party main aur kucch log nahin. Par itni jaldi bhi kya hai…… Aage aage dekhiye hota hai kya….

 

 

All family members still sitting in the room…

 

Suddenly phone rings…..

 

Mr Taneja: (picks up the phone) Hello….. Mona tumhara phone hai.

 

Mona: Hello ( walks out of the living room )

 

Joolie: Hello Mona. Kya ho raha hai.

 

Mona: Kuchh nain yaar bas discuss kar rahe the new year party ke plans ke bare main. Tumhara kya plans hain.

 

Joolie: Main to jaroor jaoongi. Are yahi to mauka hai sabse milne ka. Aur suna hai wo A block wala hero bhi aa raha hai. Kuchh hi din pahle apni padhai poori ki hai London main.

 

Mona: Aisa kya… Ab to mujhe bhi jana hi padega. Aakhir main bhi to dekhoon ye London walon ke kya nakhre hain….

 

 

Sutradhar: To Mona ji ne to apna irada badal diya ab dekhte baki log kya karte hain

 

 

All family members still sitting in the room…

 

Suddenly phone rings…..

 

Mr Taneja: Are aaj to ye phone jaan le kar hi maneha. (picks up the phone) Hello….. Maan aapka phone hai. B block wali Shanta ji hain….

 

Sheela Devi: Hello…

 

Shanta: Hello.. Kaisi ho bahan.

 

Sheela Devi: Bas kripa hai ishwar ki. To aur batao kaise call kiya.

 

Shanta: Are bas poochna chahto thi ki tumhare kya plans hain new year party ke liye.

 

Sheela Devi: Bas soch hi rahi thi ki kya karoon. Jaane ka to man hai par dekhti hoon.

 

Shanta: Are maloom hai kya wo L block wali abhi US aur europe ki trip laga kar aayee hai. Uska beta bahut kamata hai tabhi to apni maan ko foreign main ghumata rahta hai.

 

Sheela Devi: Are wo bhi foreign ghoom aayee foreign. Main to sochti thi ki wo dilli ya kathmandu gayee hogi. Ab kya karoongi jaa kar party main. Wo to mujhe apne europe ke kisse suna suna kar bor kar degi.

 

 

Sutradhar: To lagta hai aaj dimag palatne ka mausam aa gaya hai. Sheela devi ne bhi apna plan change kar diya. Baki star pariwar kya gul khila raha hai ye bhi dekh lain jara.

 

 

All family members still sitting in the room…

 

Suddenly phone rings…..

 

Mr Taneja: Is bar main to phone nahin utha raha. Din bhar bajta rahta hai. Mona jara phone uthana.

 

Mona: (picks up the phone) Hello…. Are papa aap hi ka phone hai.

 

Mr Taneja: Hello….

 

Bank Executive: Good Evening Mr Taneja. We are pleased to announce that the loan you applied for buying Innova has been approved. Please let us know when you would like to get your new car delivered to you.

 

Mr Taneja: Oh that’s great. Can you deliver it before the new year?

 

Bank Executive: Sure sir. You will celebrate the new year in a new Innova.

Mr Taneja: That’s great. Tahnk you.

 

 

Bank Executive: Thank you for taking loans from Bhai-C-Bhai bank

 

Keeps down the phone and smiles

 

Mrs Taneja: Kya baat hai, chehre pe itni khushi…..

 

Mr Taneja: Are baat hi aisi hai. Meri nayi Innova ka loan sanction ho gaya hai aur lagta hai new year party ke pahle hi nayi Innova aa jayegi. Ab to mujhe bhi jaana hi padega new year party main. Dekhta hoon Kothari ko kaisa lagega jab main innova main jaoonga uski chooti si honda ke samne.

 

 

Sutradhar: Arrreee…. Ye kya. Mr Taneja ne bhi plan badal diya. Mujhe pakka maloom hai ki Mrs Taneja aisa kuchh nahin karengi.

 

 

All family members still sitting in the room…

 

Suddenly phone rings…..

 

Mrs Taneja picks it up.

 

Mrs Taneja: Hello

 

Sumitra: Hello… Kaisi hain aap

 

Mrs Taneja: Bas thik hoon. Aapko Mantri Paradise association ka vice president chune jaane ki badhai.

 

Sumitra: Are bas beta. Is umar main thodi bahut samaj sewa kar leti hoon to man bahal jata hai. Waise tumhein ye batane ke liye phone kiya that ki apna jo press wala hai, us kisi kam se apne gaon jana pada. Itni jaldi thi use jaane ki ki sab logon ke kapde bhi lock kar ke chala gaya hai.

 

Mrs Taneja: Are ab to mushkil ho jayegi. Meri nayee banarsi sareei to usike paas padi thi.

 

Sumitra: Kafi sare logon ke kapde pade hain uske kamre main. Ab to ek hafte baad hi niklenge jab wo wapas aayega. Chalo beta abhi phone rakhti hoon. Aur bhi logon ko batana hai.

 

Keeps down the phone and loosk sad..

 

Mona: Kya hua mummy, itni dukhi kyon dikh rahi ho.

 

Mrs Taneja: Ab main kaise jaoongi new year party main. Meri saree to is kambakhat press wale ne taale main band kar di hai.

 

Mr Taneja: To kya hua tumhare paas sadiyon ki kami hai kya.

 

Mrs Taneja: Are aise hi koi saree to nahin pahan sakti hoon. Agar baki sabne pahle dekha hoga to yahi bolengi ki Mrs Taneja to jeewan bhar ek hi saree main gujar dengi. Lagta hai Mr Taneja ka promotion nahin hua. Meri to poori society main naak hi kat jayegi. Main to nahin jaane wali party main.

 

Sutradhar: To aisi hi hai hamari zindagi. Samaj, dikhave aur jhoothi shaan se bhari hui. Kahin in sab ke beech hum apne aapko to nahin bhool gaye. Hum jo kabhi ek barish ki boond pe apni khushi ko express kar sakte the. Hum jo ek pal main chhoti si baat pe ro dete the aur doosre pal main hans dete the. Hum jo apne nirnaya apne hisab se lete the, na ki jhoote adambaron ke prabhav main aa kar. Aaiye hum sab apne andar us insan ko talash karein. Namaskar.

  • SP Samant

    Nicely explained unlike Ekta Kapoor’s daily soap:-) enjoyed reading! Liked the part: – Thank you for taking loans from Bhai-C-Bhai bank.

    Cheers,
    Samant